IF YOUR VAGINA COULD TALK…
Tue May 10 19:54:00 2016
First of all, if your vagina could talk she would probably be able to run for President. She’s gone through so much (puberty, childbirth..etc.) that she truly has the skills, the strength and the know-how to teach the world a thing or two. This isn’t a post about what penises can learn from vaginas, (that would take up too much wifi.) This is simply a fun, laugh out loud chance to hear from your "homegirl down South," your vagina.
Choose an accent of your liking and imagine your vagina saying the following…
“Remember the guy from college? I’d like to request that one again.”
“I smell just fine.”
"Front to back. FRONT TO BACK!"
“I’m not the boss of your emotions but if you feel the need to cry, do it. It’s better to release stress that way instead of shouting at your BFF. PS: If she forgives your ugly hair comment, she’s a saint.”
“Next time you go to a music festival, take wet wipes.”
“I love my menstrual cup! I can drip with ease and nothing is obstructing my natural urges.”
“I always prefer to go commando! But if you must restrict me, at least cover me in something soft and breathhable.”
“Throw away those dingy, worn out underwear. Have you no respect?!”
“If I could arrest your cheap vibrator, I would.”
“I like a nice breeze now and then.”
“When you use a maxi pad, I feel like my 90-year-old grandmother.”
“I’m sorry about that yeast infection. I couldn’t get the bacteria build-up from that stupid pad out of me fast enough.”
"Tampons dry me out!"
“Seriously, if another tampon goes in me I will spit it out! You’ll be surprised at my strength after all the 'working out' we do.”
"Trust me. It's impossible to lose anything in your vagina."
“Don't wash me with that super smelly soap! That effects my healthy balance of bacteria and PH levels. Fragrances irritate me!”
“Yeah, those yoga pants ARE see through.”
So your vag is quite the chatty one but where else do you think you get it from?!
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