Let’s talk about female orgasms!

Orgasm. The Big O. Climax. Whatever you call it, the process is rooted in pleasure, physiology, and a whole lot of mystery. Whether it’s during foreplay, partnered sex, or solo exploration, blood flow increases to the vagina and clitoris, lubrication kicks in, and tension builds in the pelvic muscles. If you reach orgasm (not everyone does and that’s okay), your uterus, vagina, and anus contract rhythmically every 0.8 seconds. You might have 3 contractions or 20. It’s your body’s call.

Despite how common the pursuit of orgasm is, many women still feel in the dark about what it is, how it feels, and why it matters. Let’s break it down.

What does an orgasm feel like?

Spoiler: it’s not always sheet-gripping, moan-inducing bliss. Here’s how some women describe it:

“A strong buildup of pressure that escalates until a wave of release and spasms relaxes every muscle in my body.”

“A rollercoaster with no seatbelt you climb, tense, shake, then fall and soar. Your legs go weak, your body floods with sensation, and sometimes you cry from the intensity.”

“A pleasant sensation in my lower abdomen that fades after a few seconds. I feel relaxed afterward.”

From mind-blowing to subtle, orgasms vary wildly. If you’re wondering, “Did I just have one?” you might have or not. If it felt good and was consensual, that’s what matters most.

Benefits of orgasm

Female orgasms aren’t tied to reproduction, they’re purely for pleasure. But they come with some serious perks benefits that come from orgasming:

Oxytocin release: The “love hormone” boosts bonding and relaxation;
Immune support: Sex increases immunoglobulin A, which strengthens immunity;
Mood boost: Orgasms can ease anxiety and improve emotional wellbeing;
Pain relief: They help reduce menstrual cramps and tension;
Calorie burn: Yep, it counts as exercise too.

The different types of orgasms

There’s more than one way to reach the peak:

Clitoral orgasms: The most common, thanks to 8,000 nerve endings designed purely for pleasure;
Vaginal orgasm: G-spot stimulation less common, but possible;
Combination orgasm: When both the clitoris and G-spot are stimulated together.

Not everyone experiences all types and that’s perfectly normal. Explore what feels good to you.

What if I can’t reach orgasm?

You’re not alone. Studies over the last decade or so have shown that only 25% of women consistently orgasm during intercourse, and about 5% never do. Meanwhile, 90% of men report climaxing every time. (Yes, the pleasure gap is real.)

Here’s what can help:

Try different positions;
Stimulate your clitoris during sex;
Masturbate to learn what you enjoy;
Extend foreplay - arousal matters;
Relax - stress is a major blocker;
Eliminate distractions (yes, that means putting your phone away);
Stop chasing it - pressure can sabotage pleasure.

Orgasms are unique, personal, and sometimes elusive. What works for one person won’t work for everyone. The key? Curiosity, patience, and self-compassion.

Whether you’re multi-orgasmic or still figuring it out, remember: your pleasure is valid. Your body is wise. And your experience is yours alone. Explore, experiment, and let the orgasms come when they’re ready.

photo: courtesy of Pinterest